Mar 15, 2016

Again

Baby's momma is MIA again and we just don't know what this means this time.

We haven't heard from Angelique since her arrest, trial, and release.  That means she has missed two scheduled visits and she was also a no-show for her/our case review meeting (CFTM) at DCS on Friday.  She also has not been able to be contacted to sign this months IPA (placement agreement that let's Lasa be with us for the month) AGAIN, which means Lasa going into DCS custody is back on the table AGAIN.  At this point, that is sort of what we are praying happens. It's a long story, but it's all we can tell will move this show along. Chances are mom will surface right at the last minute AGAIN and act like nothing has happened. Sigh.

In the meantime, we are out of the formula and food and diapers that mom was doing so good to keep us mostly supplied with from her WIC vouchers.  I have taken to picking all those up ourselves as well as some clothes for warm weather now.  Josh guesses she will be here for awhile, well into fall even.  It's hard to hear when I was so hopeful she could go home by May.

Now we just wait (AGAIN) for her hearing in court April 5th to see what will happen with custody for baby.  Knowing this process, nothing will get accomplished again.  But we pray for that not to be the case.  AGAIN.

We are exhausted considering all the possibilities.  Exhausted with explaining all these moving parts to everyone who asks.  Exhausted with just all of this.  But still committed to doing what the Lord has placed before us to do.  There is nothing left for us to do but submit and obey ... again and again.

Will hopefully update more on this whole fiasco in foster care in April... Thankful for the caregiver conference this past weekend to see me through the emotional hump I was struggling with again.  Feeling less rattled and angry and impatient going forward... again.

5 comments:

Amy Faye Brown said...

I hear so much frustration from you in this and I feel for you.
It's all frustrating to read. Our system is broken, broken, broken.
How many chances does a parent get to be a parent before those in charge say enough?

So much I could say, but it's pointless.

Just know I'm praying for you in this.

And, seriously, when the custodial parent no longer has custody WIC should automatically be sent to the one who does. Even if it is the foster care system. Someone there can take care of those checks and get you the things you need. Formula is expensive.

Kimberly said...

Just hearing you say can hear the frustrating hardness of these days makes me cry. That is how near the surface it all is for me.

Yes, broken, broken, inefficient, broken. Mostly because people are so broken. This world, so broken. It's all so defeating... I feel myself launching into Ecclesiastes ... meaningless! :}

And you took the words out of my mouth - the part about so much to say, but it's pointless. It all just is what it is. I felt like I was making people uncomfortable at church Sunday when they ask what's the latest ... I would falter and fumble for words or smiles. I just am too tired to update because it all will change and no matter what our reactions or opinions on the process are, it doesn't change anything. And I am out of energy about it. It all feels so pointless and slow. Some moments more than others...

Thank you for your prayer coverage over this situation!

Emily said...

Exactly everything that Amy said... Geez Kimberly. Seems like common sense to everyone except the paperwork trail and rights of moms to have their babies back. But it does seem to be a bit ridiculous at this point with her inability to prove herself in ANY area of confidence. Showing up...seeing her child for visits...getting her child the WIC vouchers...anything. She hasn't proven anything. My heart hurts for all that you are dealing with emotionally and mentally, but at least you can rest in the fact that all YOU really need to worry over is Baby's well being. And if her well being is harder to come by financially then maybe you guys ought to push to get Baby her own WIC vouchers like Amy said. I am shocked they haven't mentioned doing this long before now. Because remember...your ministry is fostering...not so much Mom's irrational, non dependable, careless and frustrating situation. She clearly does not want help. Focus on Baby and YOUR family...not Momma. Let DCS deal with her and advocate for you and baby.

Love you Kimberly.

Emily said...

DCS deal with MOM, adn YOU advocate for YOUR family and baby...is what I meant to write.

Kimberly said...

Yep - that's how I cope - reminding myself that my own job, the only thing I have been given power to judge and take action is in the care of baby while she she in my home. All the rest of the decision making has not been assigned to me so it is just an exercise in futility to go crazy emotionally about it.

That's not saying I don't go crazy a little. Just means, I do actually recognize the foolishness and uselessness of it. And I do think I am improving at not doing it! :)