I hear little thudding footsteps come down the stairs and then a certain 4 year old calling happily to my bigger kids to return with him to a waiting Josh, "Nooooah. Aaaaaanna. It time for bible duddy (study)!"
My heart sighs at this. Beautiful steps. You'd never know a week ago he sobbed his way through their first bedtime bible study with Josh and had to be taken from the room and calmed down only to return and try again stifling whimpers all the while.
What a difference a week makes! Love that the boys are an age that we can speak directly with them about who God is and why we love him. Love that no one can take away that deposit in their lives. Trusting it all to the Lord!
Totally digging this little mission field...
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- Kimberly
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10 comments:
Wow! And how you don't attach yourself, is beyond me. I wouldn't want to let them go. A friend from Bible study gave her 3 foster kids back after 10 months with them, and she sighed with relief or thanksgiving of rest.... Not a mean sigh, but a sigh that proved she was able to remain non-emotional about their leaving. Maybe she knows she'll get them back, who knows. It was just surprising. She said in bible study it's just really hard with 5 kids. But I guess it's only hard because it's temporary...and she was aware of it the entire time she had them that it was temporary. She did go on explain that the extra free time without having to run to parent visits, or court dates, or mandatory doctors appointments psychology appointments has really opened up their days again.
Anway...interesting mission field and definitely seems to be a great fit for you guys!! So thankful those sweet boys are figuring out how to settle in. And are able to feel secure there with you. That 4 year old will be able to remember this time with you guys. Amazing.
I totally understand your friend's take. That is how I will feel as well, and do already. I love the boys and they are sweet but they are not mine and I am not in this to make them mine. I wonder what it will feel like when I know something is different and I think one will be ours. I think that is the biggest difference this time from last time we tried all this. Last time we attempted more kids, my goal was to accomplish MY goal, build MY family. This time, my goal is just to help in ministry in this little way. To steward the home and faith and availability we have. And yes - extra kids are labor intensive. I totally get your friends sigh of finality and exhaustion when they went back home. Well earned sigh! Job well done. Ha! We are pretty confident we will cap our head count after this to one kiddo at a time. ESPECIALLY with us going to be homeschooling two next year.
I mean I guess you'd have to have the "This is only temporary - I'm not building my family through this" mentality. I have another friend - who does my hair, who is getting her first foster kid. 2.5, but she has two older half siblings that are going elsewhere. She is wanting to build her family, so I'm hoping it doesn't become heart wrenching for them. They have tried for a second child for 5 years, and are now doing foster-to-adopt. But she doesn't get to choose...the parents either get themselves together or not and she won't know till it happens. and I am always amazing and sadly shocked at the amount and quickness that kids are placed immediately after being cleared and approved for foster care.
You know a LOT of foster families, girl!
Only 3 in town and you :) So far anyway :)
I loved reading this conversation because it answered some of my questions about your placement and how you're thinking / feeling. :-)
I totally hear you on capping it at just one though if you're homeschooling the other two!
If I let myself go there, I worry that we will disappoint JJ when we let them know two is too much for us at this point. But I a reading The Best Yes and really taking in the message and will follow-through with saying no to certain things so I can give my Best Yes to the best things... I am sure they will understand and the whole of JJ doesn't fall on our shoulders, but man alive, how that fretting creeps in if I am not on guard.
I completely understand how you'd feel that weight of needing to help out, but like you said it's SO important to when to say yes and when to say no. One day perhaps life will look different for you and saying yes to two or three rather than just one won't really make a big difference in your day to day life. For now, that's not the case... and that's okay. Though to be honest, I'd struggle with the same feelings you are. ;-)
I love your thoughts on the stewardship of your home and the deposits made in these babies' lives. Love, love, love it.
Thanks for the feedback, y'all! Having a rough day with the boys and it feels less isolating to check in with the outside world here, even just for a few minutes. It's a reassurance! Thankful.
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