This quote is very timely for us. For quite a few months now, Josh and I have been separately wrestling with the feeling that it was time to make a switch in a certain area of our lives; to end something. This end would impact some people in our lives, though, so it's been an end that we have dreaded a bit and, if we are honest, we've put it off for a bit as well. This end/switch has been about church.
We've been at FBC Gallatin for about 3 years now and in that time we have been a part of three different small groups, always desiring to find families we could be in authentic faith community with. Concretely, this would look like Christian friends being a part of each other's lives outside of weekly attendance in a single Sunday School hour, encouraging and challenging each other to grow in their faith ... and living that out in their own families. Somehow, we keep coming up empty-handed and discouraged. Most recently we have been in a Young Families SS class that we helped start with several other couples and, since last summer, Josh has been the teacher. In the course of several parenting studies, scripture studies, and social/unsocial gatherings we have been unable to avoid coming to the realization that we are just not in the right church. We don't pretend to think part of our problem at this point isn't that we haven't changed in the past three years, because we have. Our family and the way we want to practice faith and spiritual growth and church community has grown to a spot that just can't seem to find a resting place at FBC anymore. In fact, based on the weak participation and the indirect grumbling and resistance we have faced within our small group, we have found undeniable confirmation that our spiritual desires are far too different from the norm at our current church and that it was just time to find a new church home. While I was ready to make this switch months ago, Josh has been careful to seek out the right timing and I can appreciate that. It's not as easy to leave a church when you are in a leadership role at that church as well. But finally, Josh got some confirmation to make the move for our family. And so three weeks ago, he sat down with our church's executive pastor to talk about our desire to head elsewhere. Two weeks ago we let our small group know about our exit, and last Sunday was our last Sunday at FBC Gallatin. And today is a Sunday we took off completely just to sort of clear our heads before we start trying other churches. A detox, if you will. One that I could extend a few more weeks if Josh would let me. :}
I cannot tell you what a relief it has been to finally let go of this chapter of our lives. It's close has come about after some lonely, hurtful, and confusing moments. I am just glad we are done. But mostly, I am so glad we went about it uprightly and with respect so certain great friendships that we did have can remain intact. Looking back, I won't say a bad thing about FBC or the people there. That was never the real issue. This switch just comes down to us having come to a different place in our family life with different goals for church life. And now we can finally pursue whatever that will be. Truth be told, Josh would love to land us back in a house church fellowship. I don't deny that could be where we end up one day; it was just about the best faith community we have ever been a part of back in our ATL days. For now, however, we have a list of about 5 church-plant type places in the area that we want to visit. Many of them are on our radar because of friends that go to those churches that have the sort of family faith style we now have ourselves. We just want to be around other like-minded believers! We are hoping to finally feel at home in a church family again... something that we haven't had since our church in AL. It's been 5 long years and two church memberships since then. Josh thinks we won't find a good fit. I, somehow, am still hopeful and optimistic.
We feel like we finally have put down some roots here in TN. It would be good to have roots in a church as well. Wish us luck! Pray for us!
5 comments:
I am sure you will find a good fit. Just remember, no church is perfect, they are all filled with sinners. Don't look for the negatives...seek out the positives in churches...or you will be disappointed. I am sure God would prefer you be a grounded part of a growing body of Christ - however the shape it takes. You'll find one.
Praying for you guys!
I have several thoughts to add to what you have said here. Typed them out a couple times only to delete them. Remind me to have this conversation next time we talk. Seriously!
why'd you delete them?! Expect a phone call tomorrow then! What time would be best? For me, after 10 and before 3.
Eh, just couldn't nail the right words for what I was trying to say... and didn't want my less-than exact words preserved here if they didn't say what I really meant. And too, funny, but 10-3 is when we are doing school. We'll catch up somehow. Always do!
Actually, it's more like 9-2 here, but that equates to 10-3 your time. You know what I mean. :}
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