Final Custody Order

Ok!  Reporting back FINALLY with some final news.  Wednesday afternoon, we watched the clock like crazy people and didn't stop til we saw 4:30.  We knew time was up.  We just didn't know if any last minute hoopla had happened on Angelique's end.  And yet, I felt it.  The nothingness of what probably didn't happen on her end.  Tears started to fill my eyes as texts started to roll in from dear friends who were also watching the day and time with us.

I didn't even know why the tears were coming.  We were in the car, waiting on at GTP meet, so there was just time to feel the closure of the deadline, I guess.  To try to wrap my mind around the fact that baby girl could very well be securely OURS.  Maybe relief that it was just time after all this time.  Time to know something.  I blubbered softly to explain myself, "I don't even know why I am crying right now!"  To which Anna surmised that they were sad AND happy tears.  "That makes them SAPPY tears!" she deduced.  I loved it and started laughing while the tears came.  Such a moment.   Noah just murmured in the waiting moment, "I will be so happy if she becomes my sister."

Now the job was to get final word from Lasa's lawyer, Lisa, who earlier in the day had been at court with Angelique's attorney for another case.  She said Angelique's atty didn't even mention this case, so to her that meant it wasn't likely they filed anything.  To me, however, I only heard assumption when I was looking for a final word.  So we waited for her to let us know something from AFTER 4:30 and close of the business day.  She emailed Josh and said she got no new notices, but that she would be back in court the following day, Thursday, and would check again.  I did more crying that day ... some in anger at Angelique for not doing more to get her girl back, some in hopeful joy that the girl was my new daughter still.  How do you feel both things at once?  I don't know, but I did.  I do.  So we waited for Thursday and word back from Lisa.  Bless it - she didn't get back to us that day and I was BEYOND stunned and sick to have to wait another business day to hear something, even though I had told myself to be prepared to wait til Friday if necessary.  I might have not spoken nicely of Lasa's attorney for making us wonder another night and day.  "She is a Terrible Beast" might have fallen from my lips and I know that isn't fair.  Friday morning, she emailed Josh and said at 1:30 on Thursday nothing new had been posted, but that she would be BACK in court that day and would check one last time.  I wanted to be relieved about Thursday having been sufficient wait time, but once she said she would check again on Friday, I about fell out with worrying she would forget to let us know SOMETHING again before the weekend!  I sort of made Josh email her twice more (asking if it was typical to take three days for a filing to make its way to her) and also had him text her when 4:00 came rolling around and we hadn't heard from her.  I was praying stunted three word prayers for some relief and CLOSURE at this point.  Please, Lord, please.  And then, PRAISETHELORD, my phone rang at 4:20ish from Josh on his way home from work and, with my heart in my throat and dying to be put out of my waiting misery, I answered and he said Lisa said she got no new filings and that it was safe to assume we were in the clear as these usually come through immediately if they happened.  

And so, this week, indeed on Wednesday, August 10 at 4:30, our temporary custody order self-executed its ruling to become a Final Court Order in the matter of Lasa Carr filed by the State of Tennessee Department of Children's Services and presented before the Honorable Carlton Lewis, Magistrate for the Juvenile Court of Davidson County, Tennessee.  Amen!  And thank you, Lord!

Noah and Anna were standing beside me while on the phone still and proceeded to jump and squeal and scream in excitement, so much so that Lasa upstairs in her crib started to cry.  HA!  Anna went outside to let loose some more excitement and I just stared blankly off and shook my head.  Baby deserved more than this from her birthmother, which I need to train myself to say now instead of Momma for her ... BECAUSE I AM THE MOMMA now.  So thankful that we can cover her and give her basic things a baby deserves from her parents ... and also to grow her in the knowledge of her Savior, which is, goodness gracious, what I offered to do before the Lord in my simple but honest prayers, so many, many months ago.

Just, whoa.  We have THREE children now.  She has been born to US now. We will see this child through all her days now.  See?  Now I am crying again.  Such a trip.  I cannot believe this is where the story has taken itself.  But we receive it from the Lord with glad, grateful, sober hearts!   

In closing of the final update ... look at this beautiful thing that one of Josh's coworkers gave him yesterday.  How timely.