Last Fast

In January, Suzanne (our pastor's wife and dear friend of mine regardless) invited Redeemer Women to fast on Fridays along with her as we prayed specifically for salvation for our unsaved friends and family members by name.  I joined in the practice, having only ever fasted a handful of times before, and found it to be such a worthwhile and productive discipline!  My eyes were opened to a number of things and the Lord was so amazing to respond and encourage me along the way in very personal and specific ways.  I prayed for unsaved birthfamily members - a different name or two each Friday.  When we got to the end of January, I felt like I should just keep on ... because I had another very pressing, desperate prayer need, relating to a certain someone I had prayed about in January - Angelique and all this court stuff coming up.  So, I committed to myself and to the Lord to keep on with Friday Fasting all the way til court.  And guess what - court's next week!  That makes today my last fast!

I love having poured my heart and my nerves and my requests and my doubts and my faith all out on these Fridays.  I really liked the challenge of the fasting.  It was the perfect action for me not knowing what else to do with myself in the wait for April 18th to come.  This allowed me to go beyond fretting and overthinking and worrying and just lay my utter dependence on the Lord on the table.  And also lay out my desperation for His favor in this desire of our hearts.  But also to lay out there, however it might make me weep, that we will receive a No in faith and praise Him for what He is doing whether it matches our hopes or not.  Because what He is doing is what we want ultimately.  Fasting has been so good for my prayer life and my faith walk.  I am so thankful for Suzanne leading us into this back in January.  I don't think it would have come to mind for me otherwise.  I don't think I would have been bold enough to carry it out for so many weeks had I not already participated in the group fast first.

As a side note to all this fasting on Friday, I wanted to add some related news:   We got some really encouraging updates this week, finally, from Lasa's atty that left our jaws on the floor.  Updates that left us breathless with hope.  Updates that humble me to the core to feel like we are thissssssss close to some closure and it is looking like we will be answered with favor in the courtroom.  Lisa went so far as to say now that she can't see it NOT going our way.  This is the same woman who, last time we spoke about likely outcomes, left us with warnings that this is not a slam dunk of a case and that this judge does not TPR easily and that it could go either way.  She went out of her way to lower our expectations.  And now, after months and months of no info from her at all, she is singing a different tune with the latest updates on court, Angelique, her baby, and Angelique's new atty. Wow. 

Not wanting to get ahead of ourselves we have {mostly} kept these updates to ourselves and just quietly soaked them in and chewed on them and marveled at them and ... prayed and prayed and prayed over them again.  And, like I said, tied it all up in today's last fast.  Today I mostly just praised Him on this final fast, but I also sprinkled in more of one request I have been asking for for two years now ... for a miracle change of heart in Angelique -  that she would voluntarily sign the TPR rather than have to go through with the trial.  There is still time and there is still hope!  And we are told her atty is advising her to do this already.  If you are still reading my ramblings this far into this post, please beg the Lord for this to come to pass!  Gosh, I would love to give Him the glory for that specific miracle! If you knew Angelique, you would know why that change of mind would be stunning and miraculous.  Please, Lord, if it fits in your will for this story!  This is my last gasping prayer point today, on my last fast.