Stuff My Kids Said

Me:  Noah, you have got to find something to do besides bug your sister.
Noah:  Wike what?  Bug you?  {giggle} Bug Daddy?   {snicker} Bug Chewie?

I was susprised at the rebuff I received from Anna not long ago when I called her and she called back, "Not now, Mommy!"  What?!?!

After Josh passed the bad gas in Noah's room, Josh assured Noah the stink would go away.  Noah asked where it would go, Josh explained it would go up in the air.  Noah asked, "Will God smell it then?"

Noah has to work hard to get Anna to play with him sometimes.  The other day I heard him negotiate with her, "I'll let you bring any princesses you waaaaaaant!"  When she still refused him, he begged, "But Anna I wuv you. I know I am not gonna marry you but I still wuv you!" 

Anna is all about the cheesy commercials for all manner of ridiculous toys and gadgets they make these days.  She ran into the kitchen last time saying, "Can I have some StomPets for my birthday?  I think I need them because the tv says 'Your kids will love it!'"

One morning, Anna lamented, "I'm so excited I am going to be four.  But I am so sad, because I still like to be three."

On the way to see some friends getting baptized, Noah was all questions about every detail, especially the part involving the actual water since we had such a trying time this summer learning to swim.  I didn't get to giggling at his line of thought until he asked, "Will they wear goggles?" 

After her nap, Anna sat pantless on the stairs, absently gazing ahead in a total daze.  I whispered, "You want to wake up slowly right there?"  She murmured back without looking,  "Yes.  I am waiting for my brain to wake up."  

When she took her barrette out of her hair without asking, she reassured me, "It's ok.  My hair is just going to play in the wind." 

Anna is so the type to rattle off a Sunday School answer.  Proof?  Josh says she prayed recently at bedtime, "Dear Lord, please help Mommy to spank me when I disobey." 

When she cuddles with me, Anna will say how much she loves me and likes to hang out with me and then more times than not, she says, "I hope we can die together."   What?!?

Taa Daa: Corner Booth

Before: Ugly booth :(

After:  Not-so-ugly booth :)

I am tickled pink with the transformation!

An Un-Adoption Anniversary

Today marks exactly 2 years since we hung up our last adoption efforts.  Surrendering those plans was a forfeit that hurt my pride and left me confused before the Lord.  It is still hard for me to talk about.  Look, my eyes water just to type that out!  I have since found that I can only shake my head and shut my mouth when asked if/when we will adopt again.  I don't trust myself to answer anymore.  I have no clue what the Lord has in store for growing our family, so I don't pretend or presume to say otherwise.  For now, we sit and wait for some very obvious "go-ahead" signs from God before we start that next chapter in our family's life.  We sit and wait and practice the disciplined thinking that agrees with what one of my favorite adoption blogs (Heart Cries) recently articulated,  "I constantly have to evaluate whether my heart is running away with my dreams or if God, truly, is stirring me to action. ... I have seven more decades to live out my hopes and dreams. They don't all have to actualize right now."

Because truthfully, right now, there are rumblings in our hearts to want to talk about it, imagine it, configure a timeline for when/how our next adoption could play out.  Josh says things like, "I want another baby," and I tell him our next child is probably being born right about now anyway.  Then we try to pull back and remind ourselves how unwise it would be to adopt right now with the new endeavor of homeschooling looming so near in our future.  I admit to shying away from even entertaining the thought of adopting again until the Lord says so.  Everything in me would love to get the ball rolling, but I learned my lesson last time not to mistake my timing for the Lord's.  I still don't understand how we missed the mark last time, but I read a quote in a book awhile back that made me feel less stupid, like it wasn't all for nothing.  Taken from Almost Heaven written by Chris Fabry:

But then there are people like me, who think they are doing exactly what God wants them do to, and they plow through everything that is thrown at them and in the end they're nowhere closer to God than when they started.... You get to thinking that way and there's not a person in the world that can pull us back. You have to come to your senses yourself through the power of God.  His ways are not our ways.  They way he guides is not the way we would do it.  Look at Job and the senseless things that happened to to him.  In the end, Job found out that God was the one in control, even though he'd allowed Satan to buffet his servant.  And every time I think about Paul chained to a Roman soldier, I keep thinking he must have felt like everything he was doing was just spinning his wheels in the sand.... Once I got on that path, things made more sense.  I wasn't doing something for nothing, even though at times it felt like it.  In the middle of all life had thrown at me, God seemed to be doing something good with my heart.

While I may have come out feeling foolish, I also came out wiser, softer, more warned, and more yielded than ever.  And I also came out with a gift I was foolishly willing to sacrifice at first - more time to watch my babies grow into delightful children amidst the peace we have enjoyed these past two years.  I learned to slurp up and savor every moment of this season of our lives.  These easy, sweet, fun moments we share as a family of 4 are a gift from God, so I don't hurry them or wish them away.  That, at least, is one thing I am grateful to have learned in the face of not getting my way when I wanted it.

The next adoption is out there.  That, at least, we know.  We just don't know when and I'm finally at peace with that - with knowing where we are headed, but NOT knowing when we'll head that way.  For Josh, this acceptance has come easier.  For me, a spontaneous girl of action, it takes concentrated effort.  I'll just keep quoting my girl, Rebekah, from HeartCries, "I have seven more decades to live out my hopes and dreams. They don't all have to actualize right now."

They don't all have to actualize right now.
They don't all have to actualize right now.
They don't all have to actualize right now.

More Art from Anna's Heart

Top Row:  Cross, Jesus, Cave with Rock (my personal favorite), Flower, Anna (cut and pasted all by herself), and a Red Elephant Painting a Rainbow Cave. :)

Bottom Row:  Red Hearts (I cut, she glued), A Circle on a Statue and Swirls Making Colors, Anna and Flowers, and I have no clue about the last one. :)

Anna is an art machine, y'all.  I am running out of original things to say when she presents them to me!  :S

First Grade's First Grades

Awwww.  How adorable is this?!
My baby is actually making grades now!  

 

Last time I saw a pair of numerical grades, I was the classroom teacher and that was, ohhhhh, 6 years ago?  And last year in kindergarten all Noah ever saw were check marks and plus or minus signs.  It is soooo surreal to see a pair of papers like this coming home now!  Worlds are colliding in my former-teacher-now-SAHM brain!  Anyhow, my big boy had his first spelling test and math test today and apparently did his very best.  Color me One Proud Mommy. :)  Way to go, Noah!

Seriously, this is such a big milestone in my mind for him.  How cute is this?!  Way cute, right?  Oh yeah - So cute.

Weekend Highlights

The weather was TO DIE FOR this weekend with not a moment over 84 degrees.  There was all the time in the world to be outside and love it.  We did the zoo, took down the pool, played in the yard, did some more painting, and enjoyed not one, but two ice cream man visits!  Still, the highlight of the weekend was for sure when Josh and Noah got to go canoeing Saturday morning with friends. This was Noah's first time and I see many more small boat outings in his future.

 

Back to School ... Again

So finally, FINALLY, the kids were given the go-ahead to head back to the classroom on Thursday.  Noah was nervous all over again since it had been almost 2 weeks at home since the county commission and school board launched a stand-off over the budget ... which is still not completely settled, by the way.  Thankfully, a carpooled ride to school with Mrs. Cindy and Claire and Ben helped calm his AND Claire's nerves.

To hear Cindy tell it, they jumped out of the car and were on their way into the school, all smiles and at ease once again.  :)  Goodness knows, there were all manner of silliness and giggles when I picked them up after school.  I can tell it's gonna be fun for Noah to share this school year with a good friend from close to home.  Claire is in Kindergarten this year, so Noah has really risen to the occasion of showing her where to go and waving to her in the cafeteria (though there was some debate between the two about who saw whom and who wasn't looking when they waved across the crowded room.)  :}  I can't help grinning over the two of them and this sweet, sweet age that is early elementary life.

In other school news, I continue to be incredibly thankful for Noah's teacher.  Before schools closed, she emailed me to say she was completing some paperwork to have Noah tested for Speech services and that she'd already had the speech teacher come observe him to confirm the referral.  I am so impressed at her attention to this and at her having already gotten the ball rolling within a week of school starting.  Noah's speech is something I have been concerned about since he was 3.  We even had him tested at 4 yrs of age to rule out his needing intervention then.  Last year, still concerned at his mispronunciations, I asked his teacher and she seemed unconcerned about it.  But, still, it has weighed on my mind.  I wasn't going to ask his teacher about it until the first conference in September/October.  So you can imagine how she won me over by recognizing it and moving on it right away. Score another big point for Mrs. Arnold!

Anna, ever the Type-A personality, keeps asking me when she can go to kindergarten and when I will "home-day school" her.  I've been planning to start some actual 3-day-a-week lessons with her in September, so yesterday I pulled out the curriculum I bought in the spring and started preparing some of the materials.  Anna was so tickled at the prospect of starting soon she showered me with hugs and comments like "Mommy, I wuv you!" before the hopped off to color and draw me a picture to thank me. Today I stopped by a parent-teacher supply store and she went into the same trance of awe and excitement that I did.  I think it will be fun to test my homeschooling wings out with her this year.  I have a feeling she will be done with Kindergarten before she's even old enough for it by county standards.  :}

What Parenting Teaches Me

Yikes!  I knew I had a list of WPTM posts waiting for me to actually write out, but I didn't realize a YEAR had gone by since my last.  Now I just feel so behind, I have lost all oomph to try to catch up.  Instead, I'll just list the things I've learned while parenting, aka - the things I've learned about myself via my children, since the last WPTM entry.  It'll be kinda like a WPTM Cliff's Notes. :)

WPTM #30:  Perspective.   When I told Noah he had to finish his milk early one morning before playing Wii, he  was not keen on the idea and moaned, "Dis is a bad day."  Poor baby.  A cup of milk had ruined his day?! So silly ... and shortsighted.  Then it came to mind how many piddly things I allow to darken my mood or ruin my day, or worse, how many blessings I bare as burdens.  Perspective.

WPTM #31:  Imperfect.  I have a hard time trusting some people with the care of my children.  I don't like their value judgements, their manner, their inattention, etc.  I don't want to give them even minutes of influence over my babies.  It burns to consider the poor choices that might affect my children that I know I could be making better.  And then I guffawed to consider, How in the world the Lord stands to entrust precious innocent babies to the care of fallen sinners; sinners he can already foresee the ways their babies will be let down, abused, neglected, whether on a criminal level or just lazy parenting level.  Oh, what a merciful God. Having to accept someone else's imperfect care for my child makes me come face to face with my own imperfections before my God.  It humbles me and then it sobers me that he still trusts his children (Noah and Anna so far) to me.

WPTM #32:  Home.  Anna was upset in the car because she broke some toy and because I was driving, I couldn't attend to it right away.  "Don't worry, baby. I'll fix it when we get home."  Right away she was at peace again.  That reminded me of all the broken and painful things in our lives here on earth that cause us to cry out - injustices, ailments, fears, sin, panic.  I could almost hear the Lord whispering to me to believe also what I had just assured my daughter - that my loving Father will make them all right when we get home.

WPTM #33:  Folly.  It's so frustrating to teach my children the right thing to do, to know what is in their best interest, to want to protect their innocence and to watch them still choose the wrong thing, choose what is going to cause them pain in the end, be drawn to things that will steal their innocence. It hurts my heart for them.  This made me think of the hurt God must feel watching us choose any named sin and then suffer for it.  Makes me want to choose more wisely and trust his ways instead of the ways that SEEM right to me in the heat of the moment on any given situation.  Oh, the folly of my own ways.

WPTM #34:  Cut Off.  Noah is all boy in the sense that he is not forthcoming with details when retelling events.  It's so frustrating when I just want to share in how his day went and talk with him about stuff, especially after a full day of school for him.  I don't like how separating it feels.  And that reminded me that that must be what it's like when I hurry through my day and make it to the end and go to sleep ... and not have slowed down at all to invite my Lord into the day, let alone draw near to him at the end of it. 

WPTM #35:  His Timing.  When I told Anna it would be 5 more minutes, she answered, "OK, 12345!" She was let down when I let her know that her 5 seconds were not the same as 5 minutes.  As I thought about her preference for 5 seconds over 5 minutes,  I compared it to how a day is like a thousand to God and a thousand are like a day.  I thought about how hard it can be to wait on God's timing when we are so sure we are ready for things on our time scale.

WPTM #36:  Obedience and Blessing.  It's a struggle to make kids understand that their obedience is not meant to be a shackle for them, but an avenue for protection and blessing - for GOOD things for them and not bad.  That power struggle between their will and a parent's will always seems to get in the way.  I caught myself pleading with Noah one day, "I love you, I want good things for you, Just obey, baby!"  It reminded me of the verse in Jeremiah 29:11 telling of God's good plans for us.  Oh, how our disobedience can stand between us and those good things.

WPTM #37:  Gratitude.  We swept the kids off to Atlanta a couple months ago and did all manner of fun and/or expensive novel things.  And still my hooligans acted like ungrateful brats.  As I shook my head that they could be so unappreciative, I cut them some slack in my heart because I realized how much I must surely identify with their antics.  I am sure the Lord sees much the same scenario from his venue from all of us so-called adults.  I won't even pretend that I am not guilty of being an ungrateful brat.  Shame on me.

WPTM #38:  Repetition.  Training and disciplining a child is so full of repetition.  It requires patience to keep up with that and maintain my cool in the face of that monotony and same ole, same old.  And that reminds me of the Lord who dealt with the repetitive sins of the Israelites in the desert as he most certainly does with all of his children to this day. So thankful that my Lord is slow to anger.

WPTM #39:  Taking Him at His Word.  My Anna has a habit of repeating to herself in a whisper the things I say.  Sometimes she's just trying out the sounds, other times she's thinking more about it. Whatever her reason, it is clear she is taking my words in, internalizing them, pondering them.   Last I remember this, I said to her, "You are such a creative girl!" and sure enough she muttered under her breath, "Creative girl!"  I grinned at her believing and taking in those words about her self just because her momma said it was so.  And I thought, Lord, let it be so with me.  Let me claim my value and worth based one who you say I am.  Let me ponder your words toward me and not the words the world would say toward me.  Let me take You at your Word.

WPTM #40:  Judge Not.  Anna loves to play with a tape measure.  She'll pull that tape out and then say, "Mommy, my piggie weighs 7!"  I try to explain to her how the measurement should be said, "My piggie is 7 inches long," but she doesn't get it.  She continues "weighing" things to this day with a measuring tape.  And this reminded me of how we also tend to weigh people with the wrong measurements and with incomplete scales and inaccurate perspectives.  I remind myself to not judge people because I am not equipped to take true measurement of anyone.  What a relief to leave that all to a just God!  What a blessing that he is just.