Adoption Update

We get asked a lot lately what is new with the adoption, and more specifically, when will we have a child in our home. Unfortunately, the process is just not simple or straightforward enough to give a clear answer. We're hoping to have a better idea of what to expect in the coming weeks.

I gotta say, though, a heartfelt Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to our friends and family who provided references for us this go round. We got word of our last one making it to our agency this past week, which wraps up all the paperwork associated with our end of the footwork.

Medical stuff - check!
Fingerprints - check!
References - check!
Paperwork, forms, and more paperwork - check!
9+ Weeks of Training - check!
Next up - Home Study (or rather, a home study UPDATE since our last one is still new enough to be considered current - which kinda makes me laugh because we have moved twice and had two children since that bad boy was written - which to me makes it not at all current - but whatever - an update is cheaper than a full out home study!)

So this Thursday we will get our first home study visit underway. We only had to nag our case worker 10 times over to get her to answer us in a timely manner and actually commit to an appointment. It has been slightly discouraging to realize what second-rate citizens we are to this agency since we will not be a continued resource for them as a set of foster parents would be. As adoptive parents, we get our child and get out of there, so there is no real incentive to them to get us taken care of. At least that is our take on the no-rush, low priority we seem to have taken since our classes ended in October. It's been a little frustrating. I'll have to re-gauge my expectations in the New Year to be better equipped to handle the wait ... which most adoptions are - a big, giant wait.

In the meantime, we put it to the Lord to guide us to the right child for our family AND for that child. We have been poring over national and state-wide websites already and will keep looking until we get the go ahead to move forward. That seems like the point where the rubber will really meet the road. Until we get an approved home-study, we can't do much else. To be honest though, based on the indicators we have set and then re-set for the age and type of child we can bring home right now (considering how little and vulnerable Noah and Anna are) there have been next to no matches for us anyway. Picking a child is a very weird feeling and experience so we are clinging to the Lord to guide us and the timing and to clear our thinking of the guilt and worry that comes along in this process; guilt over not being able to consider certain kids for different reasons; and worry over whether or not we are making the right decisions about what we will and won't consider right now. You want to be so Spirit led in a decision like this, but how to go about it while being reasonable, practical, and not naive? It's emotional and confusing.

I have been reminded lately (via multiple readings,discussions, situations) about the measure of grace the Lord gives you in the moments you need it, not before. And I trust that and welcome that. So like I said, we are focusing on the task at hand for today - which is getting the home study completed and then waiting for its approval.

Btw - to answer the most obvious question people wonder about - we are looking for a little girl age 3-8ish. Not set in stone - but most likely that. Today we emptied our guest bedroom to make room for more child-friendly furniture in the coming months. Noah asked about that (but only after wanting to know more about the big Salvation Army truck and its drivers) and when I told him it was being cleared to make room for his new sister, he asked me if she would be a baby. I reminded him that she would be older, a big sister to him, and he asked me if that meant one or two years old. I had to chuckle.

And then shudder at the thought of having a baby again. No. No. No, Noah. Definitely older than you and Anna. And being already potty-trained would a real bonus.