The fourth time's the charm around here today because this morning we returned to Elam with Lasa to bring her to momma for sure this time. Angelique checked in yesterday and was up and ready for us this morning. She wasn't bright-eyed, or excited to see baby, or even all that alert to Lasa's presence at all for that matter, but she followed directions into rooms she was sent and listened when I explained what all gear we brought in which bags, and then finally she took baby when the DCS person HAD TO TELL HER to take her from Josh's arms. Sheesh.
So no, not the most reassuring baby transfer scenario, but a successful one compared to the last THREE failed attempts to check in and get this rehab show on the road. When I dwell on how worried I am that Lasa's immediate needs will be neglected, I feel tears storming the back of my eyes. But I talk myself down from the ledge by trusting the Lord and his purposes and his provision for his glory. There's just nothing else to say when I keep my eyes on those realities. His way is right ... even when I can't imagine how this will work.
In the interest of closure, I will photo dump the last of the baby pics I have taken over the past week...
One of many late night milk comas where she can't be bothered to sit up and burp.
Today at Elam waiting for DCS to arrive and for Elam's officials to show up.
Last night with baby...love those wide-eyed moments and those cheeks that have really filled out!! So kissable.
This precious love affair has not subsided.
Anna logging in a little more lap time with baby because she knows her days with us are numbered.
Many a dreamy nap happened in this swing - aka, miracleworker and/or baby whisperer.
More sleeping baby. There could just never be enough sleeping baby pics, I think.
You aren't an official Brown guest til we have taken you to Chick-Fil-A.
Right off a feeding and a hearty burp. So alert. She burps so hard, it throws her head back sometimes. Hilarious!
Snoozing on the porch. The warm air was like baby magic.
And then back inside to chill on the couch. Love how she graduated from swaddles to free sleeps in the day. We stuck with swaddling at night though.
One last selfie with Sweet Thing.
Now we just pray like crazy to keep from going crazy with worry and doubt. And we accept no other placements for a little while just in case baby comes back into DCS custody. Thankful that we will be the first ones they call if she does. Willing to let her go if the Lord says so, but willing to take her back in a heartbeat!
That is one contented little baby girl. I will pray too that either Momma gets it right this go round, or that she will realize her inabilities to care for her child before any harm is done and have Jonah's JOurney take her back again. I can't imagine the heartache mixed with a little relief of time and attention and back to heartache. I knew that you'd end up feeling this way, though, I think it's pretty normal for foster parents. You've done a wonderful work for that little girl. THe rest is up to the Lord. You can rest in that, just like you said.
ReplyDeleteYes! I second that "before any harm (or neglect) is done" part. But really, my Plan A prayer request is that she would have breakthrough, that the light would shine into her dark, that she would rise up to choose health and wholeness for herself and, in doing so, for her baby. Thank you for praying for them!
ReplyDeleteOh friend. My heart aches for you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a hard day it must have been. Such hard trusting moments as you handed over that armful of sweetness.
Your love and care for her is commendable on so many levels. Thank you for loving so freely and so unselfishly. Thank you for loving a little girl when her mama couldn't. Thank you for all of those sleepless nights and overwhelmed days and tears. God's goodness has been so clearly evident in your family's love for Lasa.
I love, love, love your way with words... "When I dwell on how worried I am that Lasa's immediate needs will be neglected, I feel tears storming the back of my eyes. But I talk myself down from the ledge by trusting the Lord and his purposes and his provision for his glory. There's just nothing else to say when I keep my eyes on those realities." You speak my language with your word pictures. I love that about you. For the umpteenth time... I wish we lived closer to each other!!
Am reading your response to Emily's comment... your Plan A request is so beautiful and unselfish and true. Your words inspire me to pray more precisely. Thank you for being you. Praying for you all and for Lasa and her mom right now.
And that milk drunk coma picture is so precious!
ReplyDeleteOh, Elizabeth! I hope for a day we can visit MUCH more frequently in person ... which is so selfish of me to want you here instead of you DOING MISSION WORK OVERSEAS!! Can't help it. :}
ReplyDeleteThank you for praying for them, too, friend! I wrote Angelique (momma) a note saying that I had friends praying for her by name ... many prayer warriors. I hope that communicates to her that she is not alone like I am sure she has felt all her life.