I am in the throes of another bittersweet April. All of April every year my brain is consumed with an awareness of Noah's coming birthday at the fresh start of May. I get weepy if I try to speak about it. Or type it.
It always stuns me as I try to wrap my brain around the new number my precious boy will be. It always moves me to so vividly recall our lives during the events that unfolded into his adoption. It always makes me cry to realize how far away his baby days are. It's always a raw reminder of how in love I am with my son. I don't think I will ever do or love something so much as raising him. (Anna, too, of course, but -you know ...This post is about my Noah.)
Only seven days left of five?
Is he really going to be SIX?
Is that really me and Josh who are going to have a six year old?
I cannot believe that it has been 6 years! I remember all of the ups and downs leading to his adoption. I so wish that we still lived close!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand. I tried to contain my wheepiness yesterday when Jacob became a 7 year old. Can they just slow down already? I have a kid....a full grown KID!
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Kimberly going through all those photos was killer. Johnmark is doing a persuasive speech today entitled "Enjoy the Journey." So many times we got caught up in anticipation of what comes next and forget to enjoy the moment that we're in. We were blubbering sentimental fools last night as we rummaged through our pictures. We've had some awesome moments and so many we simply didn't appreciate at the time. Enjoy every moment with those babies every day even the ones that are hard.
ReplyDeleteOh, Amy. You read my mind ... I find myself regretting the hurry I was always in for Noah's littler years. Always so excited for the next big milestone or stage and now I could slap myself for rushing! Oh my word, I struggle with regret ... why did I put him in MDO so many years, why did I hurry him in preschool? Josh makes me feel a little better by saying, it's ok to be sad and miss that part of my babies. That's normal. But still ... you know what I mean. You said so exactly here. Slow down, savor, don't rush!! I am so feeling it here as the last of the little years creep up on Anna, that I may do something very NOT like me ... and not even start her in Kindergarten til she's almost six! I would never have considered waiting that extra year with Noah and now I wish I could go back and do just that. Motherhood just changes you. No other way to say it. Just changes you.
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