I don't mean to be a downer, but these are the two quotes I saved from my reading of
Wicked. I hope they do not apply to you and yours. I am sure that for most of you they do not. However, in all honesty, they scream a sad truth I still experience firsthand in my relationship with my parents. Ick. Ridiculous issues I have struggled to field for almost 20 years.
- How deeply bound by cords of family anger we all are, thought the Witch. None of us breaks free.
- Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven, so you may always belong there, bound by guilt.
The book I am reading now, entitled
I Quit!, has me thinking about these emotions and the family dynamics that they involve. In particular, I just finished a chapter about anger, sadness, and fear. Now I am in a chapter about blame. As a result, certain historical family things are on my brain and make my heart rate rise just thinking/typing about it. And then I realize I still have anger about someone's anger and unforgiveness towards me. It's just gotta stop! So while I cannot control choices and emotions that roil and erupt within my family of birth, I am so glad I can make a point to not perpetuate these habits in the lives of my children and my husband. And in so doing, I can keep it from growing in the lives of my grandchildren and on.
It would kill me for two quotes like the ones above to be the legacy I leave with my children.
No. No. No.
I refuse that.
And I praise the Lord he allows me to recognize that.
Oh, Kimberly! I hurt for you. I don't have these same issues with my parents but with other members in the family. I am so sorry that you still have to go through this.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am tempted to remember and
ReplyDeleteruminate over past hurts from family, church members, colleagues
etc., I envision a river flowing under a bridge and past that bridge
I will not allow myself to follow that river for I have asked God to wash all the negatives away and let them not matter anymore. I use Psalm 23 to remind myself that my Shepherd leads me by the "still"
waters where my soul is not troubled and I can find peace. My life is hidden with Christ in God
Himself and he is my shelter, my
joy and gives me my selfworth . No
one can pluck us out of our Father's hand. Sometimes I have
pictured a shield between me and the person or the hurt and that shield allows me to be who I am.
What others think does not matter.
Be strong in the Lord, Kimberly. I
love you.
Your timing is perfect Carol. Thanks for the helpful reminders.
ReplyDeleteBecause this is a blog and not facebook and I can't leave a "like" comment for Carol's comment, I'll just say...
ReplyDeleteAMEN!
I know, right, Elizabeth? A good mother-in-law is a wonderful thing. And for a girl like me, she is a soft place to land, a welcome relief. And like I said to her this week through my blubbering tears on email, she is a treasure.
ReplyDelete