Cousins on a Couch

How is it possible that my sister FINALLY comes back to TN with her girls for a visit and I don't manage to take more than this one lousy shot the entire time they were here?

Must be because all the fun, activity, shopping, and sunshine passed us by at warp speed. Or these 4 monsters-in-adorable-kiddo-skins just wore our butts out. Who has time for snapping pictures when you are outnumbered and trying to save the chilluns from killing themselves on swings, slides, stairs, and bubble stealing/screaming capers?

Seriously though, we just passed the last 3+ days thoroughly enjoying the company, conversation, and kiddie cahoots. Counting down to our next visit with my sister and her family.

Easter Egg Hunt 2010

Miscellany

My Sweetie Pie turned 18 months old today. She learned a new word for the occasion and surprised me with it while I was doing laundry: Minnie. She said "Nin-nie" and had she not been holding up a magnet of Minnie Mouse I would not have known what she was saying.

Anna's teacher was glowing, GLOWING, today as she told me about Anna's new boyfriend, Hudson. It got me grinning to hear about how he hugs and kisses her lately and how she lets him. We both remarked how interesting it is that they acknowledge each other this way now after ignoring each other all year. We chalked it up to Spring Fever. Funny note about Hudson - he is the little guy in her class that Josh and I have referred to as Abercrombie all year because he looks so much like a model.

Noah came home with a note from his teacher (whose last day was today and I am wishing that was not so). What she complimented my boy on had me beaming. She bragged on how considerate he is of other people's feelings. I treasure little glimpses of him like these that show how he behaves when I am not around to insist that he behave.

My newest mantra for keeping my blood pressure down in the face of frustrations we encounter in dealing with our case worker is this: Gracious and Faithful. I must be gracious and faithful. Gracious and Faithful. Gracious and Faithful. Can you tell I have had opportunity today to practice reminding myself of these two qualities that I want to be known for? Gracious and Faithful. Gracious and Faithful. Gracious and Faithful. After reading her latest email to us this morning, I had to mumble this to myself over and over and over again. Just like a crazy person. Which I just might be by the end of this process ...

Walmart. Wow, Walmart. Proof that you don't have to be in a car to develop road rage. Shopping and waiting in line at Walmart ALSO gives me opportunity to brush up on my "gracious and faithful."

I am on a fancy new diet these days. You may have heard of it. It's called Starvation!

Amens: 1, 2 John

1 John 1: 2 - The Word of Life appeared right before our eyes; we saw it happen! And now we're telling you in most sober prose that what we witnessed was, incredibly, this: The infinite Life of God himself took shape before us.

1 John 1: 5 - God is light, pure light; there's not a trace of darkness in him.

1 John 2: 2,3 - Here's how we can be sure that we know God in the right way: Keep his commandments.

1 John 2: 16, 17 - Practically everything that goes on in the world - wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important - has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out - but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.

1 John 5: 3 - The proof that we love God comes when we keep his commandments and they are not at all troublesome.

1 John 5: 6 - Jesus - the Divine Christ! He experienced a life-giving birth and a death-killing death.

2 John 6 - Love means following his commandments, and his unifying commandment is that you conduct your lives in love. This is the first thing you heard, and nothing has changed.

I Love

• I love how Noah answers out loud when his show's characters ask questions to the audience.
• I love how Noah comforts Anna by hugging her or stroking her head when she lays it on his shoulder.
• I love how Noah makes a beeline for Anna in the morning. I love that the first thing he does when he sees her is touch her, kiss her, and ask her if she had a good sleep.
• I love how Anna insists on wearing her play dress-up shoes on the wrong feet.
• I love how Anna's legs grab on to me when I am holding her.
• I love the sound of Anna's voice ... saying her newest words: thisss (fish), buh buh (ladybug), choose (excuse me), cah cah (cracker), bubba (Noah), jew jew (choo choo), moe (more), ga gadoo doo (tutu), baw (ball), buh (book)
• I love hearing Noah talk to Anna and I giggle when she obeys him: lay down, high five, play trains, wan go outside? pay games? etc, say daddy, say mommy, you hungry?, come here, Anna no do dat!
• I love how Anna backs up into our laps with a book for us to read to her,as if her invitation from us is a foregone conclusion.
• I love how Noah wants his back tickled when he is feeling pouty or ornery.
• I love how hard Anna tries to pitch a fit ... that she can't commit to more than 5 secs. of it at a time.
• I love how Anna's bye bye wave is more like a twirly flick of the wrist.
• I love how Noah and Anna both think that "one more " actually means one more (candy, cracker, etc) ... for each hand.
• I love how Noah insists that a bird does not live in a nest; it lives in a tree house.
• I love how I have to weigh and carefully choose my words to make Noah understand more difficult concepts than he is used to. I love that he is old enough to think of bigger things.
• I love how Noah understands me when I tell him that resting his brain (aka napping) will help him make wiser choices (aka avoid needing spankings in the end).
• I love how I can tell when Noah is hiding something - how his eyebrows raise up, how he jerks to attention, how he looks an odd mixture of surprise and confusion.
• I love how much tinier Anna looks to us now that she is not wearing bulkier long-sleeved tops and heavy jeans.
• I love how dutifully Anna brings me the remote EVERY time it is within her reach.
• I love how Noah sings praise songs when he doesn't even know he is doing it - while playing video games and doing puzzles.
• I love how sweet and pure Anna's breath still smells.
• I love how Noah springs out of his chair and hides behind it during scarier/tense scenes in his favorite movies.
• I love how very, very teachable Noah is, how very receptive he is to instruction and explanation.
• I love how Noah breathlessly breathed "Uh-maz-ing" today as we spied a turkey trapped in our backyard.
• I love how amused Anna is when she spots her drool stains on my shoulder after laying there.
• I love how soft Anna's skin is, and how fair.
• I love how obsessed Anna is with shoes and how she darts to bring me mine when I am getting ready to go anywhere.
• I love when Noah and Anna sit side-by-side entranced in front a movie.

Recipe: Chicken Squares

This recipe comes compliments of my mom; it's one of the ones she made a lot when I was growing up. Somehow, I like it better now than I did back then. I like it more now than I did when I last made it, too, which was YEARS ago. I think then, in my cooking inexperience, working with the dough really unnerved me. I think. But now, NOW, I am surprised at how easy this was to whip up. And the kitchen smelled heavenly while it cooked. I was stumped as to why it has taken me so long to make this one again. Forgive me, chicken squares, I was wrong. You are tasty, you are scrumptious, you are easy to make. You are certainly worthy. :)

Chicken Squares

3 oz. cream cheese, softened
3 T. margarine, melted
2 c. cook, cubed chicken
2 T. milk, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1/8 tsp. pepper
1 T chopped onion or chive
8 oz. can crescent dinner rolls

Preheat oven to 350. In medium bowl, blend cream cheese and 2 T (reserve 1 T) margarine until smooth. Add all ingredients except crescent rolls. Mix well. Separate crescent dough into 4 rectangles, firmly press perforations to seal. Spoon 1/2 cup meat mixture onto center of each rectangle. Pull 4 corners of dough to top center of meat mixture, twist slightly and seal edges. Brush tops with reserved 1 T margarine. Bake on ungreased cookie sheet 20-25 minutes. until golden brown.

Notes:
- As testimony to the yumminess of this dish, know this: BOTH my kids ate it. Right away. We call that a miracle.
- I finagle the rectangles into as close a square as I can manage before I put the meat on. It makes sealing the edges easier.
- I also used just a little more chicken so it would yield 6 instead of 4 squares. If you do this, be sure to have an extra can of crescent dinner rolls.

Bookworm

I can't stand to not have a good book within reach these days. I feel a little like I am floundering without one ... even if it sits on the table for a week untouched. A good book has become something of a security blanket to me. I am quite the addict.

And today I finished a fantastic read, another novel of the historical fiction sort. Another by Philippa Gregory, who after this read, is my new favorite author. I read a number of her books last year from the Tudor time frame. The book I finished today was called The White Queen and is the first in a series from the Plantagenet time frame. While I have appreciated her stories and her storytelling, this time around I was also impressed with her expression. I didn't realize until half way into the book that I should have been marking up the fantastic writing that caught my fancy along the way. And by the middle of the book it was too late for me to start, if you think the way I do; my brain would just explode if I started documenting in the middle, missing the first part. Now all that's left to do is go back and read it again (after I loan it to my sister, of course), for the sole purpose of underlining my favorite lines and phrases. There were that many. I so relish good writing in this way. And while I did not mark and save my favorite lines as I should have, I did at least jot down some really good words she used. I added the following to my word-junkie collection: anchorite, inimitable, denigrate, beguilingly, troubadour, cuckold, doff, simper, dearth, hotly, unrest, watch care, pretenders, errant, and hagridden.

Upon finishing the book this morning, like Tarzan dangling at the end of a vine, I needed to find my next lifeline. So I picked up a book I got in the mail this week, and after reading the summary and preface, I am chomping at the bit (pen in hand from the get go, this time) to get started. The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom. I kid you not, just the page and a half preface had me moved to tears, rereading passages that were beautiful and inspiring and gripping all at the same time.

And that's all I've got for this post.
Just finished a great book -
Diving into a new one -
And for those reasons, I am feeling pumped.

Not What I Meant

This was not what I meant when I said I felt like something was brewing with our adoption.

Today there was small bump in the road with our case worker that made my blood pressure rise in an angry sort of way and my eyebrows furl, then rise, in an "oh, no she di'int" sort of way. Fortunately, before I had the chance to organize my thoughts and rant a little here on my blog (or whip off a frustrated email to her boss), she called back to correct her mistaken claim. I won't go into the details, because it gets tedious if you are not the direct party involved, but suffice to say, we do NOT have to pay for a full home study (which costs more than twice as much as a home study update) as she suddenly insisted we did this morning. We do, however, have to double check behind our case worker from now on as it seems we know better how to do her job than she does, we know the agency's paperwork better than she does. And that is a shame. To add insult to injury, and in fulfillment of my prediction a few days ago, our home study was not approved this week and was instead returned to our case worker to be rewritten and resubmitted. It seems she did not complete it in the correct format. Imagine me shaking my head at this news right about here, not in surprise, mind you, but at the predictability of unsatisfactory service.

Josh was careful to get her to commit to having it resubmitted by next Friday and most likely approved within the following week. To safeguard my heart from disappointment and fury when this does not go as planned, I'll go ahead and lower my expectations again and count on the end of April instead. Imagine a Kimmie huff right about here.

Honestly, it's not like we're in some terrible hurry. It's just that waiting for and then accepting someone's poor work ethic and attention to basic details is hard for me to do. Especially when I am paying them.

My Toy Collection

My Baby Doll

My Action Figure

Brewing

I can feel it brewing. Something's coming soon along our adoption way. And I don't just say that because we received a note from our case worker saying our approval should be completed within the week (which I take to mean it will probably be two weeks). There have been other conversations, coincidences, readings, thoughts, timings, expectations, just stuff, that make me feel like something's coming. Makes me feel kind of excited. And jittery.

For now, the latest is that we are still waiting on our home study approval and that it is nearing. And we now have several children picked out to inquire about as soon as that happens. And now siblings are not out of the question. Still not Plan A, but not out of the question.

Brown Around Town

Can you read it? Neat, huh?

I finally found a 5 opening frame to display the above pics I got from my favorite little gift shop near home.  Choosing the letters was fun.  I love the photography and the idea of spotting the letters in scenic ways. 

Well, as scenic as spying the letter B in a sewer drain can be.  But you know what I mean.  It's a cool concept.

Amens: 2 Peter

Some picks from The Message's translation of 2 Peter.

2 Peter 1:6 - alert discipline (self-control), passionate patience (perseverance), reverent wonder (godliness)

2 Peter 1: 9 - Without these qualities (faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, kindness, love) you can't see what's right before you...

2 Peter 3: 15 - Interpret our Master's patient restraint for what it is: salvation.

Amens: 1 Peter

Talk about a challenge to rise up, step up, man up, grow up, straighten up. Just some highlights from The Message's translation of 1 Peter.

1 Peter 1: 5,6 - The Day is coming when you'll have it all - life healed and whole. I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime.

1 Peter 1: 7 - ...it's your faith...that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.

1 Peter 1: 14-16 - Don't lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. ... As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, "I am holy; you be holy."

1 Peter 2: 5 - Present yourselves as building stones for the construction of a sanctuary vibrant with life, in which you'll serve as holy priests offering Christ-approved lives up to God.

1 Peter 4: 2 - Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.

1 Peter 4: 10, 11 - Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it: if words, let it be God's words; if help, let it be God's hearty help. That way, God's bright presence will be evident in everything ...

1 Peter 4: 12 - Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job.

1 Peter 4: 19 - So if you find life difficult because you're doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he's doing, and he'll keep on doing it.

1 Peter 5: 6,7 - So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.

Amens: James

More of my favorite translations from The Message.

James 1: 4 [speaking of tests/challenges] - So don't try to get out of anything prematurely.  Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. 

James 1: 6 - Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.  People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves.  Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

James 1: 17 - There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle.

James 1: 19 - Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear.  (NKJV - be swfit to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath)

James 1: 25 - But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God - the free life! - even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action.  That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.

Amens: Hebrews

Favorite translations for me from The Message Bible.

Hebrews 1: 3 - He holds everything together by what he says - powerful words!

Hebrews 2: 14,15 - By embracing death, taking it into himself, he destroyed the Devil's hold on death and freed all who cower through life, scared to death of death.

Hebrews 10: 14 - It was a perfect sacrifice by a perfect person to perfect some very imperfect people.

Hebrews 10: 22 - So let's do it - full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out.  Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going.

Hebrews 11: 1 - The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.  It's our handle on what we can't see.

Hebrews 11: 6 - Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him.   (NKJV - ... He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.)

Hebrews 11:7 (emphasis mine) - By faith, Noah built a ship in the middle of dry land.  He was warned about something he couldn't see, and acted on what he was told.  The result?  His family was saved.  His act of faith drew a sharp line between the evil of the unbelieving world and the rightness of the believing world.  As a result, Noah became intimate with God.  (NKJV - By faith Noah ... moved with godly fear...)

Hebrews 13: 16 - Make sure you don't take things for granted and go slack in working for the common good; share what you have with others.  God takes particular pleasure in acts of worship - a different kind of "sacrifice" - that take place in the kitchen and workplace and on the streets.

That Settles That

We were on an errand in the car today when a Taylor Swift song came on.  Between her young girl voice and her teen dating/teen love themes, I felt silly singing along.  I thought to myself how I'm probably a little too old to have her on my iPod.  I had just about decided that it was time to let those songs go - time to put my big girl pants on - when Noah piped up from the back seat and put a real exclamation mark on that train of thought. 

Noah: Mommy!
Me: Yeah, baby...
Noah (pausing to listen closer):  Dat Doodlebops?

Wow.  There's a reality check if I ever heard one.
That, folks, settles that.  Taylor's gotta go!

Three One

I am 31 today. I feel kind of indifferent about this birthday actually, which is kind of a bummer...except for the part where I don't feel bummed.  Maybe the word for it is just ... anti-climactic.

Really, today I just kind of appreciate the blessing of being home, in my comfort zone, with nowhere to go, and nothing to do except wipe Anna's nose, fix Noah's drinks, and stay off my feet b/c they hurt from the past couple days.  Josh is out of town again, so I am in survival mode. And on a day like today, since it IS my birthday, this translates into grabbing dinner from Chick-Fil-A instead of trying to cook something for myself and the half of an appetite that Noah and Anna equate to.  In the meantime...

My gift to myself - a strawberry kiwi diet Lipton Sparkling green tea. How silly is that giant title? But how delicious it is. So glad I picked up a case of these on a whim on my last grocery run.

Anna's gift to me - sprouting 4 molars...teeth #9-12 for anyone besides me who is keeping count, which I know is no one besides me. As it should be.

Noah's gift to me - some funny boy noises and acknowledgement that today is my birthday.

Josh's gift to me - an IOU for a lovely lamp, my choice. And plans set in motion for a back patio.  And a quartet of Cadbury Eggs.

Ebay's gift to me - winning a Brother Bear DVD for Noah for only $3.99 and it's already in the mail.

The day's gift to me - soothing, overcast skies, temps in the 60's, and a breeze blowing through my living room from the back porch to the front.

Trappings of Noah

Noah was planning what to get me for my birthday. Being as sly as a preschooler can be, he came right out and asked me if I liked Dora. And when the question of cake came up, he asked me if I liked Spiderman.

When Noah did give me a birthday card today (a Tigger and Pooh card in the end), he pointed out the big lumpy circle at the bottom (his signature) and explained that it was a mountain. This left me confused, but before I could ask about it, he had instructed me to put the card back in its box (the envelope he was holding open for me) and save it for Christmas. And then he hounded me the rest of the evening until he got to eat my cupcake. No matter. I had a cupcake upgrade anyway - a little mini-cheesecake, compliments of Josh's wise planning. Before Noah and I dug into our respective cup/cheesecakes, Noah wanted me to get a fire (a.k.a. candle) for the cake. We were plum OUT of candles though, so I just pretended while they sang Happy Birthday. Noah was satisfied with that. I think Noah thinks my birthday is for him. :)

Today while Anna was at school and I was working at the consignment sale, Josh stayed home with a sick Noah. And along the way, Josh got told. By Noah. It seems Noah was taking awhile in the bathroom so Josh kept calling to see if he was still OK. After the second or third time Josh inquired after him, he heard Noah exhale loudly (a huff, if you will) and exclaim in frustration, "I ahweddy tell you two times!" Then he followed up with an exasperated complaint, "Daddy, you no obey!" Josh said he just stood dumbfounded outside the door.

When Josh was telling Noah about me leaving for the day to work, Noah laughed, genuinely amused, and said, "Dat so siwwy (silly)! Mommy no go work! Ownwy Daddy go work!"

Josh held Noah above his head to fly him around in his new shiny blue cape. Noah said he wanted to fly to heaven.

In Which Anna Accessorizes

Amens: 2 Timothy

My favorite Message translations from 2 Timothy...

2 Timothy 1:12 - I couldn't be more sure of my ground - the One I've trusted in can take care of what he's trusted me to do right to the end.

2 Timothy 1: 14 - Guard this precious thing placed in your custody by the Holy Spirit who works in us. (precious thing = this faith and love rooted in Christ v. 13)

2 Timothy 2: 16, 17 - Stay clear of pious talk that is only talk. Words are not mere words, you know. If they're not backed by a godly life, they accumulate as poison in the soul.

The Ugly Truth

Today it happened while I was upstairs putting Anna down for a nap. I noticed Noah was unsettlingly quiet downstairs. As I made my way down, I heard his footsteps quicken, and as I turned the corner, I saw a flash of little boy quickly darting behind the kitchen table. Hiding.

Me: Noah, what were you just doing?
Noah (the rapidity of his answer giving away his guilt): Nuffin.
Me: Noah Brown, tell me the truth.
Noah: I not doin' nuffin!
Me: Tell me the truth - what you were really doing while I was gone - or there will be spankings.
Noah: I pickin' my nose. (lifting his finger to me, presenting the evidence) Wook.

If that's not the ugly truth, I don't know what is.

In Living Color

I have this automatic feel for color ... when I hear a word or a name, a certain color comes to mind. Today, just for fun, I jotted down some names of people that I have thought about and/or interacted with this week and listed the color I associate with them.

Laura - Red
Laura's new son, Samuel - Red and Brown
Heather - Brown
Heather's new son, Jeremiah - Green
Emily - Yellow
Brooklyn - Purple
Natalie - Yellow
Mas - Red and Green
Joshua - Green and Brown
Me - Red
Noah - Yellow
Anna - Orange and Pink
Elizabeth - Blue and Green
Shannon - Purple and Red
Noah's MDO teacher, Mrs. Kristie - Red
Carol - Red and Purple
Amy - Red and Orange
Morgan - Orange

Idle Chat

Hmmmm. What to say, what to say.

Yes, Yes. I did watch the full season of The Bachelor over the past few months and was too embarrassed to admit it along the way. But I told my sister after the finale, and I tell you all now, you have my permission, nay, my pleading request to shoot me if I ever watch another minute of that redonkulous show. Shame on me.

I love the smell of bacon. The taste of it, too, for that matter.

I never wear my rings or watch at home. The first thing I do when I get home is take them off ... I almost feel claustrophobic wearing them at home. But if I am out of the house, I feel naked without them.

Sometimes all you can do with an aggravating little boy is torture him with tickles.

And if he keeps saying "butt" and "stupid head" (thanks for THAT, Lilo and Stitch) you put lemon juice on his tongue. Lemon juice only because his daddy is a little skittish about using hot sauce like I read in a book. And you banish Lilo and Stitch to time-out for a number of years ...no, make that, forever.

We just started video chatting with my sister recently and Noah totally digs it. Now we can chat with Josh when he is out of town ... if Noah will ever stop making faces and noises at the camera, that is. He thinks he is hilarious.

I l-uh-ove the way Anna looks and smells when she is fresh from a nap, all warm and flushed and drooly. I think I could identify her with my eyes closed just from the smell of the dried saliva on her cheeks. It cracks me up that my life has come to that. And it also warms my heart.

Some favorite words I have collected from of late: resplendent, mimic, baubles, bereft, snarky, ministrations, and redonkulous.

While I finally managed to get to sleep without any sleeping pills, it did not last long - only a couple weeks at most. I am back to needing a pill to sleep every night and I am done trying to do without them. It is just an exercise in frustration and futility. I feel completely defeated in this task! And that is sad...that sleeping has become a task to me. Good grief. I am just gonna take the sleeping pills and thank my lucky stars that Ambien exists.

It is amazing to me that MckMama is so popular that just the advertising on her blog pays for all that she and her family need to get by and then some. Good for her. And I do not mean that sarcastically. That is just really amazing to me.

Most recent iTunes download: Beautiful, Beautiful by Francesca Battistelli. Most recent movie I have seen: Big Fish. I am actually still working my way through it.

I have a new pet peeve. Political Correctness ... and the lip service that comes along with it. Enough already. Enough with all the words.

And with that, I am done with all my words .... for the moment. ;)

So Saith Noah

Turns out, he likes my hair after all. He's told me so twice over the past few days. He says, "I wike you hair today, Mommy." And last night (which is a couple days after this original post) he called to me from the table while I was cooking. He said, (and I am still not sure what meaning he had in mind), but he said, "I wike you hair TWO times!" I guess that means he likes it twice as much? I think I'll go with that.

He also thinks his daddy is something special. No surprise there. He is. But in the words of our almost-4-year-old it went like this as they played Xbox together. "You're a cool dude, Daddy."

Weekend Tidbits

Anna participated in her first My Gym class
Josh made his first sale of the year
Actually watched some of the Olympics
Rooted for Apolo Ohno
I think I'll name our next pet Apolo
Josh and Noah went to the library
Set traps and laid poison for our stupid moles
Finished a really good book: A Thousand Splendid Suns
Caught up on some Scripture posts
Noah graduated to "No Booster Seat" status at the table
Went to a Pampered Chef party
Noah typed his name all by himself for the first time
We put up a bird feeder and now I am obsessed with watching the birds eat, scavenge dropped seeds from the ground, and chase each other away from the feeder. (I am pretty sure that my new interest in birds is one more indicator that I am getting old.)