Scattered

I'm feeling so scattered and stressed this week. A lot is going on with the house and family - nothing bad though. Well, nothing too bad. We do have yet another mouse to deal with that apparently died under our house. The smell was so bad this morning, I was gagging and could not go downstairs. It puts me in real panic mode. Noah kept asking this morning "Why Mommy - oh my gosh?" when I kept having to gasp fresh air outside and hold my ears and eyes and chant "Oh my gosh. Oh, Oh Oh." and on and on. This dead mouse makes number 5 for the season for us. Not liking that number and how it seems to keep rising. Please, Lord, please let there be no more after this one!!

This has been a busy week for appointments and installs and errands and travel plans and bullies at school and such. Life-type stuff just all happening in the same week or two. Besides the mouse fiascoes we have had of late and besides having the screen porch built and then fixed soon after, we had new counter tops installed Monday which was no small thing and no small mess afterwards. Josh is having his workshop set up with electricity on Friday. I leave tomorrow to go see my sister's new house in GA. We had to buy our second new HVAC in 6 months (ouch!) and that is being installed today. Josh finished up his medical stuff for the adoption and I finished up the last of our checklist of stuff to do for it as well. Tonight is our last training class - it's on CPR and first aid. We had a long anticipated family photo session outdoors yesterday that came as the biggest relief for me to have done and over with. It went really well overall and I must warn you - there are some fantastic shots. I can't wait to see the proofs in a couple weeks. We donated some furniture this week so that pick-up had to be scheduled and managed when they came late. Last week there were a couple minor catastrophes that happened of course when Josh was out of town - so those also were managed over the weekend and this week. I cancelled my gym membership and we just got our own elliptical machine to use at home. So that was a big ticket item we also bought and assembled this week. It's all so stupid really that it occupies so much space in my brain. But there it is. Lots on the brain and the holidays are coming so quickly. I think I'm about half done with Christmas shopping. But truly, I'm exhausted already and again. I insist, I insist, I insist that I will be settled and peaceful and together by Thanksgiving.

And then I scold myself for how stupid and petty my concerns are lately. I know of a friend from college who has but 2 more weeks with her 2 year old before his poor little body gives in to his brain tumor. Josh and I can hardly speak of it without tears lately. It so fills my head and heart that I dream about them, about his dying, about my days with this friend from college. And man, how remembering your college days can get you thinking again. That's a whole other distracting story. I won't go there. But I will tell you that Noah prays for this little boy that is losing the fight for his life every night. I don't think Noah really gets it, but he gets that it is concerning to Josh and me and he gets that baby Tyson is sick, very sick. So he remembers him, remembers all on his own, and lifts him up to the Lord when he prays his short and sweet prayers. I can't think of anything more moving than that right now. How tender it must be to the Lord - to hears prayers from one baby for another baby. My heart just breaks at the thought, for their family, and for the beautiful witness they have been and continue to be through what must be slowly ripping their hearts apart. Oh Lord, oh Lord....

I just can't concentrate.

Hectic happenings,
home ownership,
holidays, and
heartbreak,
oh the heartbreak...

... they all just kick my butt.